GOAL#1 2016 Stop saying bad words when provoked.
Day 1: completed mission
Day 2: went to Wal-Mart.
Day(s) 3 – 362: Don’t go to Wal-Mart
Don’t tell Michael (my husband) in Aldi’s parking lot (directly before going into Wal-Mart) “I think you have a problem with aggression.”
Five minutes later — after shopping for 4 items I enter the Express Self Check out Lines in Wal-Mart.
For sake of clarity let’s just call it “The Worm Hole”. You’re sucked in because of course you’re attempting a quick escape and now you’re held to its power.
And it is powerful — just ask Sweetie Pie Pants (aka Wicked Witch of the West) whom I apparently had a date with in destiny on Day #2 2016.
Immediately WWW tries to tell me I can’t check out via the Express Self Check out and use a check as I’ve done OVER 200 TIMES ! This has happened before so I politely explain “Yes, I can – I’ve done it for over 2 years now.” Well she wanted to argue that point so I obliged — patiently, without ugly words and pretty even handily.
Twice she said it.
Twice I replied.
I might add with accurate information.
Yes, you can use a check at the Express Self Check Out. However having a properly trained staff – both in business etiquette “The customer is always right” (and sometimes they are!) and company protocols (like actually training them that the computer screen stating “check” as an option to pay with isn’t AN ERROR!) just actually might be beneficial for the Wal-Mart shopping experience!
Well she finally shut up and did HER RIPPING JOB. . . allowing me to push the button ON THE SCREEN THAT ALLOWS FOR — that’s right —- using a CHECK !
So I take my stuff over to the little counter just like I have 200 times before but does she keep her mouth shut? Nope, she has to continue to tell me “We’re really not supposed to do this!” While I have to stand there with my check like I’ve done 200 TIMES BEFORE and utilized to pay for my purchases and wait for her to finish her lecturing of me.
My response — “Ok, however I’ve done it over 200 times and perhaps Management needs to put a sign up that states you can’t use a check here” (maybe even consider REMOVING that option from the stinking COMPUTER SCREEN that says “Yes, indeed you can, Dear Valued Customer, use this here button to pay for your purchases at your neighborhood Wal-Mart store!) OR here’s one — TRAIN YOUR STAFF to know that a customer can utilize the COMPUTER SCREEN OPTION OF PAYING WITH A CHECK!
Then . . . while I hand her my check, I explain “This register requires the check to go in opposite, it’s different than the other registers.” This also always happens to me – the staff does not know their little check running through thingy is opposite than the main registers here in the Express Self Check Out aka WORM HOLE STATION. My words to her were said trying to avoid further conflict with an employee who just can’t SHUT THE HELL UP!
I stated my advice – not trying to be ignorant, just trying to get the transaction done correctly and avoiding any further issues with her. What does she say . . . because she can’t keep her mouth shut and has to have the last word – “I know it – I’ve done this before.” Hmmm did she not start this whole WORM HOLE EVENT with me because they were NOT CAPABLE OF ALLOWING THIS KIND OF PAYMENT at the Express Self Check Out? Then how is it, Sherlock that she knows how to do this and has DONE IT BEFORE?
My response “Yes, I’m sure this isn’t your first rodeo. . . however this also has happened to me here often – the staff not knowing about that tip – to turn the check in the opposite direction and upside down.”
Does she SHUT THE HELL UP YET? Nope not really, she’s needing the last word — utilizes her eyeballs and glances back over, yes, I said back over – she’s already stretched those eyeballs over at this other employee once already – who’s currently standing looking straight ahead hoping to not become involved in our little chat and gives this little girl who’s trying really, really hard to not get involved — a look — Yep, that kind of look. Little WWW can’t shut her mouth up so her eyeballs speak for her – the look – “Can you believe this “blank”!”
Blank would be me — me — the customer who’s only trying to utilize the Express Self Check Out like she’s done 200 times before using her checks to pay. So the WWW gives her (the sweet little co-worker) yet again the side eye glance of disrespect towards me and our now epic encounter.
Upon gazing at this little girl (co-employee) I notice another customer directly behind this polite employee turning around to join in on the fun. She’s looking at me, she’s looking at the WWW. Well, friends — I grew up in E. St. Louis —- I know how to drop and roll my head back around – thus communicating it might be in your best interest to not go there.
However she obviously had her little golden blonde wig on a little too tight and her solar flare Jackie O blacked out sunglasses were obviously obstructing her vision cause she didn’t take the hint. Her comment – “She’s not arguing with you.” Now at this point all my hinges are flipping open and I’m attempting to let the steam poof out my ears so I don’t reach across the counter and slap a knot upside ole WWW’s smarty pant’s skull. I’m rather distracted in other words and here’s the LOL part — I didn’t get it — I didn’t get that she was actually talking to me, I thought she was addressing the impolite, can’t keep your mouth shut, has to have the last word employee — I thought she was going after that girl.
Now here’s the only noble part of this whole stupid encounter. I actually looked at her and thought — “Now that’s not fair to this employee — I’m upset with this employee and she needs to learn to shut up but it aint fair to make this harder on her!” I seriously thought this woman was ganging up on this stupid employee! So you know what I said? :))) I looked at her and her tightly woven golden blonde wig and Jackie O sun flare glasses and said . . . “I’ve got this.” She shut up. I should of told her also she might want to actually utilize those sun glasses and occasionally step out into the sun – boy was she pasty white!
So I turn back towards the root of my Wal-Mart angst. I told her not to worry that I’d take the whole issue up with management — and asked who was the manager on duty. Shocker – she didn’t know. I told her – no problem I’m sure I could get it figured out.
Jerking up her broom (conveniently stashed by her work station) I jumped on it and aimed it towards the Customer Service desk . . . reaching back I pulled the nitro straw, the flames pushed backwards and I felt the torque. I was en route to somebody who was going to hear my story. . . and keep their mouth shut!
Now Michael was waiting out in the car — patiently waiting — being a Christian waiting patiently in the car for his wife who was pissed off to the max and looking for a manager and currently riding a broom to find one.
Did I mention he was behaving like a Christian?
So there I speed down the main aisle and low and behold slammed myself directly in the hurried pathway of a manager. I had Michael on the phone and was YELLING into it when I threw myself in front of her (averting my attention away from Michael who was patiently waiting as a godly patient Christian patient husband patiently waiting in the parking lot) I barked at her “Are you a manager — of which she replied calmly (no doubt a patient Christian, godly woman) “Yes.” I then resumed my YELLING into my phone to my husband who was patiently waiting as a godly husband outside in the parking lot in clear view of the Aldi’s parking lot. My statement to him “I have a situation here, WAIT!” and snapped my phone shut. The managers eyeballs were a little large at this point . . .
We walked off to the side – I threw my stuff on the floor – yanked my sweater off (if I’d of had earrings on I’d of yanked those off too!) and began — yep, that – the part where I cussed. She listened intently and we chatted for a bit while of course drawing a crowd of on-lookers who apparently had never seen a menopausal pissed off woman before. I explained how rude she’d been from the start, how rude she’d continued to be and how incapable she was of shutting her mouth when a customer was simply explaining how she’d utilized OVER 200 TIMES the system for payment that she (the employee) insisted WOULD NOT WORK and then followed it up with WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. . . with continued snotty looks of disrespect and then the best part TOLD ME SHE KNEW HOW TO DO (entering the check correctly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) THAT IT WASN’T HER FIRST TIME.
When I was finished I grabbed my stuff – jumped back on my broom, hit the Nitro again but before exiting our friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart store I slammed it to a complete stop directly in front of the Express Lanes, hopped off and walked directly in front of them while glaring over at the Wicked Witch of the Express Lanes.
I stomped out the door and yanked open the door on my Camry of which Michael was patiently waiting within like a godly Christian man would. I threw my stuff down, yanked my door shut and yelled “Drive.”
He pulled away from the curb like he was “Driving Miss Daisy” and listened intently to my tirade for the next 5 minutes – during which time I realized Jackie Onassis needed her ass kicked as she had taken a swing at me and I was too stupid to realize it because I was so ticked off at the Wicked Witch of the Express Check out lanes! OH MY GOODNESS am I glad I hadn’t taken it the “right” way (her getting in the middle of something that wasn’t her fight!) – I’m fairly certain I would have gotten up into her space and who knows maybe even separated her and that wig/weave or whatever in the crap was on top of her head!
When I was done ranting my husband looked over at me while turning the car left down Main Street, without smiling and smoothly, calmly taking that turn glanced over at me and said “I don’t know – I think you have a problem with aggression.” and busted out laughing. . . and so did I.
Next time at Aldi’s I’m keeping my mouth shut.
And next year I’m starting it off with . . .
Goal #1 2017 Stop judging people – work on your own crap.
As for 2016 — Jackie O better hope I don’t see her in Aldi’s – that’s all I’m saying.
lordus boke 